25 Jan 2008


I went to the store yesterday. It should have been a trip like all others, and it almost was.
Someone stopped me in the aisle, right between the apples and avocados.

- Excuse me?
- Yes?
- I dont want you to think I am strange...

The elderly gentleman looked at me nervously

- Don't worry, how can I help?

- .... but I just had to say I think you are beautiful...
- Thank you, you have just made my day.

I walked away smiling

Beauty is one beast we constantly strive to controll, to be in charge of. Reports show that as much as ten percent of women in this country starve themselves in one way or another, chasing the beauty beast. Many blame the media: the papers contain articles on how to look good for your man, how to lose weight or be a Goddess in bed. They are not asking for much, just perfection. We are always told that women fall for charm and power, and men for good-looks. It is not surprising that magazines for men sell more copies if a hot chick is on the cover.

However, magazines for women sell more copies if a hot chick is on the cover!

The image of the gorgeous woman, and her oh-so-handsome sub can be seen everywhere. Not just in BDSM-magazines or on the internet, but in commercials, in fashion ads. I cannot count the number of letters I have received from submissives asking solely about my facial features, or my clothes.

- No, I do not walk around wearing fetish clothes all day
- No, I wont dye my long hair black, I like it the way it is
- No, I will not lose/gain weight for you, it is my body
- No, I will not get vampire teeth, even if you pay for them
- No, I will not be anything but myself!

I am though, just as fascinated by the images of beauty as the rest. I look through the ads for the perfect corset, the best waist-coat, the loveliest top, the skirt that has that little something.... Right now I am sitting here in a pair of new jeans, that look very good on me, but the buttons on my behind are in all the wrong places, and make sitting hard. Instead of taking them back to the store, I will suffer the hard metal against my flesh. I know that in a few hours they will hurt a lot, but at least they are cute...

As a woman and a Domme I am conflicted by my feelings regarding the image of the perfect Domina. She makes my imperfections stand out, when I am compared to her. She reminds me that I am human, and She is untouchable, unreachable.

At times I feel like I am Her...

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there-in lies the problem. As I walked through the store I sang off key the same few lines "you'll never see how you are, you are, so beautiful to me, you'll never see..."


secondfiddle said...

you are beautiful inside out. of this i have little doubt!

Christian said...

Well I have no image of a perfect domme in my mind. Especially not when it comes to her physical appearance.

Those images of models, acting as dommes in fetish wear for magazines, do nothing for me. Yes they look good, but what else? I know nothing about her real character and attitude.

A woman who I know better and would fit into my interest in smart, dominant women on the other side, could make me fall in love with her no matter how she looks. Okay, honestly I would need to be a little bit attracted to her, but she certainly wouldn´t need any make-up, nice clothes and so on.

P.S.: Hmm, I suppose a lot of men pretend to be like that, but still don´t act like that...

ThiefOfHearts said...

I read this thread with interest, and you know what LadyM? Now I understand things perfectly. You are Someone Like Me!

LadyM said...

Secondfiddle: Thank you!

Christian: It is not only the men who seek the image of the perfect Domme, women such as myself are just as guilty of keeping it alive. We want to be Her

Thiefofhearts: Yes, I am... Not just a part of that, but all.