Attitude

The door opens, and a beautiful woman dressed in leather and tall boots enters the dark basement, followed by a bound, leashed and visibly suffering male, begging for mercy.

- On your knees, you worthless piece of scum!
- How dare you touch Me?
- What gave you the right to talk to Me, to even look at Me?

The stereotypical Domme drags her submissive in a leash behind her, whilst she is barking out commands, making sure he does not forget that he means nothing to her. He can be replaced at any second, and any time he does not follow protocol to the letter he will be punished in the most severe manner. This works wonders in a play setting and is a "best-seller" in fiction and film, but what about in a D/s relationship?

I have, at play parties, been known to with a stern face give orders, and tell men to Get lost! but those have usually been directed at people I felt uncomfortable with. Some simply do not know when to stop, when to leave good enough alone. I prefer a different approach; to simply be myself at all times.

I cannot be in a fulfilling relationship unless I am able to express fully how I feel, and embrace all of me. As I so often say: If I am not all that I can be, I am nothing. I have to be a goof some days, I need a warm hug at times, I enjoy a good banter and I am a loving and highly protective partner. I am not going to give up any of that simply to fit into a Domme template. If I did, I would be giving up on myself.

Doesn't that apply to the submissive as well?

I am sometimes approached by those who immediately begin to explain that they are of no use to anyone, and I always respond in the same way:

- If you are completely worthless, without personality, skills or any likeable traits at all, why would I want you?

That is usually met by surprised glances, and a mumbling ;

- Well, perhaps not like that.... I just thought... I am beneath you....but there ARE things that I am good at....

The change is often quite amazing. He lifts his head, looks me in the eyes, trying to impress me with his personality and his skills, his openness as well as his eagerness to serve. That is in fact the only way to get my attention.

Once we step away from the stereotypes of the objectified slave and the yelling Mistress, we are able to create a real connection, something worth building more than an hour's play session on.
I want to walk with my head held high next to a slave that I am proud to have, both at my feet and by my side.

I want to be as proud of My slave as he is of his Mistress....