21 Dec 2007


Among the worst feelings there are is irritation. It is simply.. irritating. An internal frustration with nowhere to go. (Thereby not saying that there are not enjoyable frustrations.) It makes me climb the walls, and my jaw muscles tense. A small crease can be seen between my eyebrows, my gaze turns hard. Let's face it: I have a temper!

Through life I have learnt how to control anger, hide sorrow, laugh at the right time and to ignore an insult. The question still remains though: What do you do about irritation? As a Domme I can choose to take out my frustration on my submissive, to let the crop hit his body or expose him to other kinds of pain, humiliation and frustration.

No, that feels like a not-so-wise-option. I do not always have my submissive present, the irritation is not always caused by his actions, and even when it is I must control my actions. I want to punish, when needed, with a clear mind, and therefore wait until my irritation subsides. Calculate and decide what I am going to do.

Tonight's irritation is mixed with a dose of understanding, which in itself makes it even more irritating. Part of this feeling is immediately directed towards the fact that it exists in my body at this very minute. Irritated that I am irritated... Yes it is almost ridiculous!

Oh well, the night is still young for some of us, and my shoes are standing by the edge of the bed. I am going to take a long midnight stroll in the pouring rain. Tonight, I am the one who needs a cold shower.

Time to put out a fire.

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